And Two Shall Become One

So, on this day, 9 years ago, I was getting dolled up to get married. I was totally clueless about the true meaning of the vows I took. Y'know the ones..."In good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health..." You get the picture!

BUT, we got married, as babies, it seems, as I look back at the pictures. We were all of 19 and 20 years old, and soooo in love! So, I thought it would be fun to do a "top 10 list!"

Top Ten Things They Never Tell You About Marriage...

10. The wedding day is just the beginning!

9. Being married is the most rewarding, most fullfilling relationship God will ever grant you...and the most difficult!

8. It takes Men a loooong time to mature, but it's worth the wait!

7. When God picks our mate, he balances us perfectly for the future, even though we have yet to fully understand how.

6. The excitement of being a newly wed was nothing compared to my excitement now as I look forward to seeing my spouse at the end of a day! He is "home" to me!

5. Finding time to nurture a relationship can be a challenge with kids, but is a MUST!

4. The path of sharing life's road with another can be bumpy and rocky, but there is nothing like being hand-in-hand with someone alot less klutzy than me!

3. There is nothing like having a good belly laugh with your spouse.

2. I think marriage is created so we have someone to keep our icy toes warm in bed in the winter.

and finally number one...

1. Love isn't always a flowery feeling...It's a choice, and sometimes one that takes some effort. . .

When I promised to love Kenny, I knew there was no "out door" for me. I didn't know that there would be times that each of us was so darn unlovable, that it would require some serious effort by the other one!

I cherish my marriage, and feel very blessed with the family I have. I CHOOSE to love Kenny as my number one. We have been through and will see again some very tough times together, but I know that he is my partner, and I am his..."Through good times and bad, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live!"

I look forward to years ahead with my husband, and pray we end up as that cute little couple in the park sharing a lunch and feeding the birds hand in hand...

Editing a bit tonight...

Hey,

For those of you who have been reading my blog, you may notice something missing...a past post.

It was brought to my attention that my words of that post, labeled "Frustration Central," was possibly hurting feelings, so I deleted it to avoid upsetting anyone as requested...

And, I am truly sorry if my honest feelings upset or effected anyone...wasn't really trying to accomplish anything other than venting, and didn't really have any other venue. So anyway, sorry.

Sooo...I tend to be pretty open about my emotions and pretty honest about what goes on in my life, so will be trying very hard to keep my blog pretty impersonal and surface for now so I don't continue to ruffle feathers... But for those of you who are close to me, feel free to email me directly if you want to catch up!

L.I.G......Life is good.

Well, maybe not perfectly good, but last night I emailed Norm to make a request about how he relay info. to Kenny since I am out of the loop now, and Tami emailed me back...

It seems like there was a whole crap load of misinformation, and she is being gracious enough to see through it and put this aside so we can ALL be together as a family.

I am relieved. . . But now, we have something not so fun ahead of us. Tami and Norm have been called to Chicago by her oncologist, and I am afraid there may be some tough news. However, I know that God is good, ALL the time. His timing is perfect, and so is his plan...even when it is not in line with mine ;)

So, now we wait and pray and pray and pray and...did i mention pray?

Homemade Halloween

So, I ALWAYS make the kids' halloween costumes, and this year is no different... I just like them to have something a bit different than the ones everyone is wearing from Wal-Mart! Sooo...here is McKayla's new costume for this year. I will paint her face of course, so this isn't the full effect, but she has on her own leotard, tights, and wings. I made the tutu last night from $3 of tulle that I picked up. And, call me biased, but I think she is going to be the cutest little trick-or-treater EVER! Well, her and Korban, that is. He is going to be a "Scary Dragon!" Which is going to be made from a sweatsuit and a half, and lots of scotch brite sponges...

Intrigued? Doubtful? Welp, cross your fingers that it works out, and I will post it next week once it is finished!

Peace to my friends...

Farmin' Angels

I can't begin to tell you how special our evening was. Korban is OBSESSED with tractors and our friend Steve Mayfield just happens to be a farmer. Soo...when he told Kenny the kids could come out and ride in a combine, we were thrilled.

It never grows old watching my babies discover the world. McKayla was so excited, she actually dance the whole way out into the field down the trail, ooo-ing and aah-ing over every beautiful grasshopper she found. Korban, predictably babbled and asked questions non-stop, and I snapped pictures along the way.

Steve was gracious enough to take all three of my kids on the combine for about a half-hour. He taught them how it worked and what they did with the corn. They got to see the wagon full of corn, and watch the combine work through the back window from inside the cab. He also surprised them by giving them each a turn behind the wheel, and if you don't think we talked about it non-stop, you can think again!

Korban takes the prize for cutest quote this time, and I don't think I will forget it for a long time! He held up a piece of discarded corn and said so seriously, that I had to snap a picture..."Mom, this is ree-wee the corn me and sissy got cut-ted down!"

It's such a blessing to see ordinary things become the wonders of the world through a child's eye!

Peace.

Bragging a Bit!

Okay, just had to share a pic of my beautiful girl and her cousin! This is Deann on the left, our niece, and McKayla on the right. Now, I might be biased, but I really think she was the most beautiful girl at Auntie Sarah's wedding! Oh, and I can't begin to tell you how much she adored having hair and make-up for the big day!

Welcome Fall!

As the temperature and weather begins to change, I marvel at the changes that this past year has brought...

Both of the kids are in school now, Korban attends for half days and McKayla is in first grade! It feels like I got married yesterday, and is so surreal to me that I am a mother of two school-aged children! Korban is as precious as ever, excitedly reliving every detail of his day the second I see his sweet face. And McKayla is my silent studious girl. She still loves her daily homework with her whole heart, and I love her excitement as she marvels at each new lesson!

I just began my last year as a twenty-something. I really want this to be a good year. As our life fireworks chaotically around us, there are several things that I have in my head as relates to our home, my health, and our finances that I would like to get a grip on, and I really tribute the inspiration to make things happen to my father. Dad is so wise, probably part due to age and part to experience, but he has challenged me to look at challenges and chaos differently. Instead of dragging my feet and submitting to the chaos, he has challenged me to bravely charge ahead, changing little pieces of my world one at a time...Promising that each feat conquered will revitalize my energy and confidence to take on the next task!

Speaking of which, I have a few things I need to accomplish today, so I am off to stay on task, but I wish my friends health, family, and friendship as my favorite seasons roars in!

Peace.

The Most Amazing Man

I am blogging tonight to share the most overwhelming pride I have ever felt for my husband.

There has been quite a bit of crap going on this week. To summarize, the administration on the fire department has change over the course of the past 10 days to be the most horrible display of nepotism I have ever witnessed. These past events have been too much for Kenny. He has decided that he does not support the way that our government has decided to operate, nor does he feel safe entering dangerous, possibly life threatening situations with the newly appointed administration in place. He loves being a fire fighter. Not for the recognition, but for the service. He sadly came to the final decision to resign the department and return when the administration is fair and he is confident he can trust his leaders.

So, my husband, who is normally so shy that it is hard for him to make eye contact, publicly resigned tonight in front of a group of supportive citizens. I can't describe how moving it is to see the love of my life stand up for what he believes even when it is uncomfortable to do so. My brave husband even put himself out there as far as to interview on camera with wand17 nbc news and several newspapers. I am so proud of him I could cry...okay, I have been crying.

It's such a sad situation, but I still have found the pearl in this storm, as I have watched my husband become a true man before my very eyes.

I love my husband, and have developed a new, deeper respect for him. I love you Kenny, thank you for choosing me. I am blessed.

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

Well, tomorrow is the big day...McKayla starts first day, and I am still in disbelief that I even have a first grader, let alone that it starts in 24 hours. I do know one thing, Mrs. Moser's class is lucky to have such a sweet, fabulous girl joining them this year...

McKayla is SUCH a great kid, and having her as my firstborn has definitely been a blessing. She is so grown up...not in an offensive way, but in a innocent yet bossy and confident way that is quite reminiscent of the way her mommy was... McKayla is a wonderful listener and a perfect big sis (most of the time!), never ceasing her self-appointed position to intervene for Korban when he is misunderstood or nervous. McKayla is empathetic, thoughtful, affectionate, intelligent, sensitive, creative, honest, hilarious, friendly, and magnetic. Her eyes sparkle like nothing I have ever seen, and call me biased, but she is definitely THE most beautiful girl in the world! She never hesitates to burst forth with the most manly laugh on the planet, and I hope it never changes. She is as big of a klutz as her mom and aunt are, and her hugs are the best thing on the face of the earth.

I am both excited and sad to see her leave for her first year of full-time school, and it is such a bittersweet moment for me! The time we are blessed to have raising our kids as they grow seems so short, and I feel like I am frantically wishing for time to slow so I can get all of life's lessons in before she is out of my grasp. McKayla's very bright, and her conscience is impeccable. I have no fear that she will always do what she feels is just and right, for her and her loved ones. I am so proud of the girl we have raised, and even though I remain a bit sad that she is no longer a baby, I excitedly look forward to seeing her become a young woman, becoming a friend and growing close. I can't even imagine the amazing gal she will grow to be!

Off to the Fair

We took the kids to the fair last week, and we had a ball! It was something that I wouldn't have thought necessary on my own, but since Kenny (my third child) wanted to go so badly, we drug the kids along and had a wonderful time...

With much hesitation on my part, we put the kids on ride after ride, and they had a blast! They got to see and touch and learn about cows, horses, baby chicks, bunnies, and goats. We also got McKayla's face painted and took Korban to see the antique tractors. Then there was the food, of course. The each got to sample corn dogs and funnel cake. Kenny visited the live line electricity lecture, but we saved the best for last...

There was a crocodile show with a man who was a young, muscular version of George Bush, and captured a 7 foot alligator to teach us about him. The kids were totally amazed. They even got their picture taken with his 4 year old pet alligator!!!

So, I know the fair isn't huge news or anything, but we had fun, and sometimes it's so nice just to have fun and be with each other!

Planting Begonias

This is a picture from a few weeks ago, but I just put it on the 'puter, and wanted to share it since I love it so much. This picture really tells the story of my kids' summertime experience. . .

Let me preface this by saying, if it gives you a better idea, my kids have always had two wardrobes...get dirty clothes and nice clothes, but at our house, the call them "Daddy clothes and Mommy clothes!"

So, a few weeks ago, Kenny and the kids were outside while I was making supper, and Kenny rushed in, and blurted out "We are going to Wal-mart."

"Why?" I replied, but never got an answer, he had already grabbed his wallet and was out the door!

So, a bit later I found them all three on the porch planting flowers in my flower boxes, and I loved watching them soooo much! I love the way Kenny is with the kids when he is teaching them and letting them be involved with something he does. Kenny loves to grow things, and has had a garden since he was in his pre-teens, he is very gentle and careful with plants. As I stood outside the front door watching them, just a few feet away, they were all so totally focused on each other and the flowers that they didn't even know I was there. Finally, I dashed inside for the camera, knowing that this was one of those sweet moments that take your breath away, and I began snapping...

All couples have mental lists of things that they like and dislike about one another, but on my "like" list, is the way Kenny is with our children. Rarely is there ever an issue about them being a part of something he is doing (unless I think it's too dangerous, that is). He is very good with them, including them in things that alot of fathers would want to do on their own. This is a trait that I brag about when I talk about my dad, and was blessed enough to see in again in my husband. Not only was it a joy to watch the fun that my kids were having, but so so sweet to see them interacting with their daddy.

The Fight Against Headbanging and the New Light...Oh, and CT scan results, too!

So, this is Korban...my little headbanger! Let me update those of you who are unfamiliar. At just four months old, Korban started headbanging himself to sleep every night, back to sleep in the middle of the night several times, and awake in the morning. We went through several attempts to control and limit the amount or existence all together! Hmmm...let's see...we tried padding his crib, giving him melatonin, rocking him, reasoning with him, keeping him up later, putting him to bed earlier, teaching him how to rock or kick his feet instead...the list goes on. However, my sweet little boy quickly learned how to move the bumper pads, start over after being rocked, add it to the foot kicking and rocking! He HAD to bang his head! I can't tell you how many helpless nights I have spent crying over the frustration of not being sufficient enough to stifle the action. I have prayed every night since he began.

It even got so bad, that shortly after beginning through about 2 1/2 (until he got a new bed) He had a reverse mohawk, bald in the center from the constant force of hitting his head in the same spot. And when all else failed and he couldn't find a hard place to bang, he would bang his head on his knuckles, actually causing him to sport a bloody scabby bump for weeks. Nice, let me tell ya!

I think the best solution has been replacing his crib and pack and play playpen with a big boy bed, complete with marine grade, high-density, 4 inch foam upholstered in fleece, courtesy of a desperate mommy! I finally gave up stopping the head banging and went straight to protection!

Well, in comes therapy. We have tried brushing, pressure clothing, weighted blankets and pads, and finally, we are on day 2 of a quiet night, and I have to admit, I am holding my breath! One of the therapy items we found for his sensory issues is a l.e.d. color morphing light. he goes to bed with it and can keep it and press the button as much as he wants...as long as he stays in bed and quiet. I kid you not, he fell asleep in less then 5 minutes last night and tonight!

So, I can not begin to tell you the peace in my heart, knowing that for at least 2 nights in a row, my poor hypo-sensitive little angel has gone to bed peacefully. Now, you are more than welcome to pray with me that this is a permanent change!

Now, total change of subject...My mother in law w/ cancer...rare cancer...began a new chemo a while ago, and we got results today that there has been no more new detectable growth, and even a bit of shrinkage! So, praise God!

Peace in Him.

Want to vs. Have to...

So, it's not all that easy to balance the want to and have to...especially when you are a homemaker w/ no official "boss" to keep you moving!

I have learned in the past several months how important quality time is...WAY more so than a spotless house, and have been trying to apply that principal to life at the Holts. I really like to spend time doing something memorable w/ the kids either individually or together each day...That is really important to me. Like Monday (I was gone all day Tues) we went outside after nap and made homemade ziplock bag ice cream. YUM! I will put the recipe at the bottom, the kids had a blast doing it...All three of them! ha!

So, since I WANT to just hang out w/ the kids all day, but I HAVE to have some organization around here, the plan is to work all morning, break for lunch and naps, then have time w/ the kids in the afternoon. Which means, I get to tackle the dreaded dirty dish tower in a few minutes!!!

After all, who wouldn't want to spend every waking second ignoring housework and playing w/ these angels??!!!?!

Anyway, here is the recipe, I gotta get my but movin' and shakin'...sorry about the mental image, hope you didn't just throw up in your mouth! lol!

Gracie's Zip Lock Bag Ice Cream

You will need:

thick gloves to wear for shaking
quart sized freezer bags
gallon sized freezer bags

Vanilla-
1 c. whole milk
1 t. vanilla
1 T sugar

Chocolate-
1 c. whole milk
squirt of chocolate syrup

(this basically works w/ any flavor...be creative!!!)

AND
lots of ice
lots of table salt

Directions:
add milk and other flavorings to quart sized bag, seal (removing as much air as possible) and place in a second quart sized bag, seal

fill gallon bag 1/2 full w/ ice (crushed or store bought works best, large cubes are hard to work w/) and pour salt generously over ice (about 1/3 of a cup!)

push bag of ice cream ingredients into center of ice and seal gallon bag.

Now shake shake shake shake shake shake.....you get the picture...for about 5-8 minutes, or until ice cream is desired consistancy.

Remove inside quart bag, snip the corner, and squeeze into a cup or bowl, and enjoy!

Hope you try this, the kids had a ball, and I think kenny and I had more fun than they did!

Well, I better get to work, have a great day!

Peace.

So, Here I am Blogging

I just wanted to welcome you to my blogging home with one of my favorite pictures this year from the boat. . .

Here we are mid-July already, and I can't figure out for the life of me where the years have gone... I'm not quite sure how to begin my first blog post EVER, so I think I will start w/ something fun, a list of my favorite things. Things that make me smile, giggle, belly laugh, thank God, tear up, or cry - OR all of the above!

So, for those of you who know me, you are aware that I am an "old soul." And am happiest hobby-wise when I am creating. I love to quilt, crochet, sew, and anything else that involves making something for someone else. My most recent creation was an outfit for McKayla that turned out quite cute if I do say so myself. And here are some more favorites:

McKayla's manly laugh
Korban's kisses
the smell of fresh cut grass
riding across the lake at dusk
pizza
Jack Johnson
the smell of corn in late July
driving in the country
holding hands w/ Kenny
snuggly Sunday mornings
looking at pictures
watching movies
breaking boards
getting dressed up
sitting on the glider watching the kids play
the latest klutz story from my sissy
cruising youtube for klutzes bigger than us!
getting to know new friends
monthly margarita night w/ the "fire girls"
watching my children be sweet to each other
knowing that McKayla loves organization as much as I do
hugs from my dad, I think his are still the very very bestest
myspacing
camp fires and smores
Sunday Funday lunches grilled by chef Armstrong
learning about my children and seeing them succeed
singing to my babies in the rocking chair from Papi
Hearing McKayla say blue-teee-ful
cooking yummy stuff for anyone I can rope to the table
laughing with my husband
connecting with people
insightful talks with my mother-in-law
that my mom is my friend
one-on-one time with my kids
every single of the hundreds of times a day that Korban tells me that he "wuvs" me
little kisses from my hubby in public
telling my family that I love them
driving with the windows down singing at the top of my lungs...
and catching someone else doing it
when Kenny tells me he loves me in front of his friends and they razz him

So, these are just a few, but I did this for a specific purpose. I know how easy it is to focus on the negative, and I can easily be a glass-half-empty type of gal. But I hope this has made you think. Hopefully you have a list twice as long as mine of things that make you happy.

Well, there is way more to come, but I am tired, and Grandpa has surgery in the morning.

Peace In Him.